


to my lonely sweetheart

by some_nights



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Divorce Shenanigans, Fluff, Humor, M/M, elias pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_nights/pseuds/some_nights
Summary: Elias gets Peter an anniversary gift. Peter is not a fan.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 17
Kudos: 126





	to my lonely sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank Karin (@[kaijudyke](https://kaijudyke.tumblr.com/) on tumblr) for beta'ing this fic for me! She did a wonderful job and all remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> There's an accompanying [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0i2xE61Uzfdcd4VYBelft7?si=825Ez_bnRei_aReZP_LStQ) to this fic.

Elias was sitting in his office, almost giddy with anticipation. Outwardly, he was calm. For the head of the honourable Magnus Insitute, anything but composure was unbefitting. There had to be a certain gravitas to his demeanour. To anyone watching, he was thus sitting calmly at his desk, sorting through some paperwork, a perfect picture of solemn poise. He had no idea what sort of files he was shuffling around - his mind was too occupied with what was to come. Soon, he would see his husband. He didn’t know when, but Peter was sure to come, probably today. Elias had sent him a gift for their first wedding anniversary. Even though they were in their fifth marriage, this was only the third one where they had made it this far. Elias had wanted to do something special for this occasion. The parcel had arrived a little late, as Peter had unfortunately diverted from his predicted route - no doubt anticipating some gesture from Elias and trying (in vain) to avoid it. Now, a few weeks later, the _Tundra_ had made port in London again. The gift was of the kind that was bound to get a reaction and since Elias had refrained from using his powers to see how Peter liked it, his husband had no choice but to come to the institute, especially since he hadn’t taken his phone with him.

It had actually been the phone that had given Elias the idea for his gift - or rather its lack of a ringtone. While he was away, Peter had gotten three messages, all by Simon Fairchild. Elias had been quite surprised that Peter had given his number to anyone besides him. And for some reason, he’d felt inspired to do something special for his husband after that.

As soon as Peter stepped foot into the institute, Elias Saw him. He really was a handsome man. There was a certain allure to his carefully cultivated roughness.  
Even though Peter had been at sea for the last four months, it hadn’t been that long since Elias had last Seen him - he (sparingly) used the power his patron granted him to watch as Peter stared out into the sea. Peter never mentioned it or acknowledged his presence, but Elias knew he tolerated it as long as Elias didn’t check in too often. Once, he had pushed too far and Peter had his lawyers draft up the divorce papers while he was still at sea. Elias had signed them and they hadn’t spoken for a while. That divorce hadn’t been a fun one. This one would be, though.

Peter didn’t knock before storming into Elias’s office, absolutely fuming.  
“Darling!” Elias said, smiling brightly. He enjoyed the contrast between their two moods. “As always, it’s a pleasure to see you. How was your time at sea? Sacrifices go alright?”  
“I cannot believe you.”  
Elias feigned ignorance. “What on earth are you talking about, dearest?”  
“First of all—” Peter dramatically held up his right index finger. “You Know I despise music. Any kind of music, but especially music about loneliness. It is an affront of the highest order to the Forsaken. And yet you gave me a _mixtape_.”  
The utter disgust in Peter’s voice as he said that last word was truly delightful.  
“Second of all!” Peter’s middle finger joined his index finger. “I cannot believe you put _Total Eclipse Of The Heart_ on there six times even though it is not even about loneliness!”  
Elias strategically placed his hands in front of his mouth to hide his grin. He was sure Peter could see the lines wrinkle around his eyes anyway but he wanted to hear the whole list of complaints. He’d earned this.  
“Third of all, I cannot believe you did not give me the titles of the songs. I had to _ask_ my _sailors_ for help! I had to _interact_ with my _crew_!”  
Elias hadn’t even considered that aspect. This had worked even better than he’d planned.  
“Fourth of all—” Peter dramatically waved his pinky. “I might have considered forgiving you if the whole mixtape had been more like the first half. But the fact that you ridiculed me, not only through your excessive use of Total Eclipse Of The Heart, but also through your inclusion of songs that are not only inaccurate or cheesy but plain bad is unforgivable.”  
Elias wasn’t sure if he succeeded in looking crestfallen.  
“Fifth of all!” It was truly incredible that Peter was still going on. “That cover of _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ was an insult to my ears. And last but not least—” here, Peter put his hands on his hips and looked down on Elias with a look so angry it almost made Elias regret his choice. Almost. “To end this overall offensive affair with a _threat_! An open threat! You know that our union can only work if we respect each other’s believes - since you do not respect mine, we have to get another divorce.”  
Elias nodded solemnly. “If that is the way you feel, I will have the necessary paperwork ready by tomorrow. It was never my intention to hurt you, sweetheart. I just wanted to give you something nice for our anniversary.”  
Peter’s glare said more than a thousand words. Elias was fully aware that he wasn’t fooling his soon-to-be-ex husband. That was part of the fun.

They got divorced and, some time later, they got remarried. And then, still some time later, divorced again. And so it went - marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce; once they got married just so they could get divorced. Another time, they tried to get married only to find out that they’d never gotten divorced.  
Years after the mixtape divorce, as Elias affectionately called it in his head, he Saw Peter fondly stroke an old cassette in his cabin. As soon as he was back on land, Elias proposed. To their wedding, he wore the hideous tie Peter had gotten him for one of his birthdays. This one lasted for a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I actually made [the mixtape](https://sumquiasum.tumblr.com/post/190163280462/a-mixtape-elias-makes-for-peter-for-their-third) first and then wrote this. Honestly, if I were Peter, I also would have wanted a divorce.  
> I know timeline wise this does not make sense but what can you do.
> 
> The Magnus Archives is now the fandom I wrote most fics for! Woo-hoo!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this silly story; if you did, you can show me through kudos and comments! You can also come say hi on my [tumblr](https://sumquiasum.tumblr.com/).


End file.
